My name is Kaustubh and I am not a SRK fan

I am aware of how many new enemies I may have already made by making that statement, but that is exactly what I mean to say and that too with a spin-off on the title of his latest movie. Though it may seem like a shameless rip-off and a cowardly act of plagiarism, I see it merely as a way to grab some attention. SRK is the badshah of bollywood. That fact is undeniable. Just a thought about the colossal number of followers out there who believe in the religion of bollywood and consider SRK as none less than a god makes me feel that I owe them an explanation why I dont belong with them.

Its nothing personal. But I just cant stand his films. Mainly for one reason - I look for something meaningful when it comes to cinema and mainstream bollywood has nothing to offer in that space. Name his biggest hits and I will have my reasons not to have seen them or never to see them again. The list of SRK movies which I am never going to see again in my life is an ever increasing one for me.

I cant believe there are people out there who swear by DDLJ. I can do DDLJ "bashing" till eternity. That one is definitely touted to be my best hated film of all times. People who know this have used the inside information to their advantage. It was one of those office birthday celebrations where after the cake cutting formalities, you ask the person to do something. Sing, dance, tell a joke, whatever it takes to makes the masses happy. As luck would have it, on my birthday my office colleagues had printed out some lyrics for me to sing and entertain them. That damned song was none other than "Mehndi laga ke rakhna" from DDLJ. My embarrassment was evident when I was made to sing that horrible horrible song. Yes one use of the word horrible is not enough here. And though everyone had a hearty laugh, I cursed the stupid song from that stupid movie. Nonetheless it was the performance of the year.

DDLJ is just to start with. My list of bad SRK movies is a long one. Pardes, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Mohobbatein, Main Hoon Na, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, Kal Ho Na Ho, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, Om Shanti Om all make it to the list. I don't remember enjoying any of these at all. Oh of course how could I forget Veer Zara, the paramount story of unconditional love. Give me a break!! But hey, do I see a pattern here. All these crappy movies belong to the same banner, more or less. Now I feel like blaming it on YR Films or Dharma productions altogether. They are the ones responsible to bring out the worst in SRK. Such melodrama, mindless plots, nonsensical action, forced humor et al. SRK still might have an iota of good acting in him. But such movies just dont demand it.

And what is this that I read in some gossip news!! Mr SRK wished to do p*rn once upon a time!! Nothing unusual. He is used to doing movies with no stories. But I don't want to see one of these where SRK is overacting again. As if women faking it wasn't enough.

I once got into this argument, what is it about SRK that is most annoying? Is it his success, his fame or his wealth? Sure he is successful and famous and he is at a place where only few can dream to reach. He has worked his way to achieve and retain his stardom.But I strongly believe he is there only for the money and not the art. Commercialism leaves little space for creativity. And like all of them, none stands out as an exceptional piece of performing art.

Having said that, I must mention that some of his movies have been outstanding. Swades, Chak de India, Devdas and I even liked Asoka (though Kareena Kapoor had more to do with it). I have only one word to explain why this is so. The director. Those who know what to ask of SRK have made the magic appear on the screen. The rest just work on the same formula year in and year out, churning out films under huge banners and banking on the crazy fans who will see the movie just for SRK. I have no doubt he can demand such hysteria and a huge fan following.

I cannot be all negative about SRK. He is there for a reason. There is something in him that makes him great. He ventures to whatever place and returns back a conqueror. Movies, ad-world, cricket, award functions. All will seem lack lustre without this name. People love him, worship him. But what works for most, doesn't work for me. He may rule the hearts of millions, but mine is not one of them. I chose not to join the crowd and stand by what I said. My name is Kaustubh and I am not a SRK fan.