He waited for her that evening, with the same rush in his heart as the day he first saw her. They had been friends ever since, but he thought of no reason to settle for just a friend. His mind was already taken away into a beautiful fantasy which he believed were true and sought to live in it. The evening was about to change it all. He knew it but did not want to believe it.
Akash never believed in love at first sight until about a year back when he saw this angel walking towards him. Anoushka was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Glittering eyes, sparkling smile and charming grace which very few girls carried around this well. He knew he had been hit by a thunderbolt and suddenly nothing started to make sense. He couldn't help but fall for this enchanting beauty.
Their friendship soon blossomed but the relationship never found a new name called love. Akash was so deeply in love with Anoushka that he could not risk what he had, lest she put an end to their relation after knowing what was on his mind. This fear of losing her made him loose on those countless moments when he could have made a honest confession of his heart and win the heart of his lady love. Every time he thought he should go and tell her, a second voice in his head kept saying that maybe he should wait for a right moment. And that right moment never came.
That evening the same old rush through his heart made him realise what he was about to lose, probably forever. The biggest decision of Anoushka's life was made and this evening would probably be the last as well, when they would meet and have a long conversation. There were a million things he wanted to say. Things which had been buried deeply within his heart, which simply refused to accept that she has now committed to someone else.
Nevertheless he spoke his heart out that evening. With every word his voice grew weak, fearing to admit that he did not know what to do after she would leave him. She listened quietly and reciprocated , after a long silence, with similar emotions. She admitted to have had a thing for him and though she had realised Akash's intentions, she never responded because she was never able to make up her mind, until it was too late.
That conversation was probably the longest and the most intimate one they ever had. They did not want to leave until the clock reminded her that it was late and it was time to bid a last goodbye. She shook his hand with a heartfelt gesture, he wanted to hold on to it for ever but knew he had run out of time. There was silence in the air and though the world around them was busy as a bee, time stood still for them as each wanted to live this moment forever.
Anoushka got married a month later. Akash was never more heart broke than on that day. But in that grief there was a relief, a consolation that Anoushka would be happy wherever she is all her life.That is what Akash prayed every single moment of his life. Though the marriage effectively ruined their friendship. Its wasn't that he didn't want to be in touch, talk to her or share a happy moment, but he still feared, feared his failure, feared that past will grip him again and cause him the pain he suffered ever since Anoushka decided to marry someone else. It wasn't easy to give up on his first and only love. But he had little choice.
Still a year after her marriage, Akash hasn't found a reason to move on. He still dwelves in his dreams and fantasies where he first met Anoushka. He has all the reasons to let her go but not willing to.If only he could convince himself, he would be able to do justice to their friendship and keep fond memories of his love for her in his heart forever, which will never hurt anyone.
