Throughout the growing years, a child is taught about the right from wrong, the virtues from the vices. Parents fiercely shield their kids from any harm that bad things can cause, teaching them high morals and struggling at making them better persons.
Probably they are so busy teaching them the good stuff, that they forget to teach them to identify and fight anything wrong. These kids step out into the world thinking that it is the safest and the most noble place, thanks to the pre-notion of the goodness instilled in them over the years. Things can change ugly pretty soon and then starts the struggle to find a morally right way to live the life ahead.
I am no different. I am usually on the morally good side of things. At least I am not known to lie, cheat or betray anyone. Given a situation, I can be trusted to be on the right side of things. This has helped bring out a strong positive side of me and with it comes a binding that I should not do any wrong.
But I am fed up of being good all the time. It is a virtuous way of life, but at the same time it is banal and very unadventurous. Being dictated by morally right way of things irks me sometimes. Being good all the time does not excite me as much as being a little bad would!
I don't want to be able to say yes to things all the time, when inside I am screaming to say no. Being curt at times should be the right thing to do. Maybe show some arrogance and attitude to get things done my way. Surely a little rudeness can do me no harm. When it comes to trust in relationships, would a little betrayal be that fatal? Maybe I could venture into it when I can see that things aren't going to work out. Why care for something when there isn't much to salvage. Will indulgence be that great a sin, if there are no strings attached? Will a little greed for more luxurious things in life, label me as vile for the rest of my life? Wanting more, being able to achieve it by whatever means possible and taking pride in the achievement; are these deemed to be strict no-no sins as well!
I think I have enough goodness in me to be able to venture into this dark side and come back unscathed after the debacle of being sinful for some time. I would want to spend some time in these moral shades of gray and realize how much bad is good enough. Draw a line to being as much sinful as possible, experience the thrill and adventure to be there and back. All in the process of understanding the good from the bad.
How else can I appreciate the goodness in me without coming face to face to my dark side and re-emerging virtuous?
