Life has been fair to me. Always. Almost.
No matter how lively I feel everyday and however upbeat the moods may seem, certain things of the past break me down. Shatter the jovial mask that I wear around, because deep down under, the toughest call has been a matter of the heart.
Yeah, was love struck at 22 and lived a dream for an eternity. She was beautiful. Like an angel sent from the heavens above. Night and day, she was all that I could think of. It was an ecstatic feeling and I was carried away into a world of trance never wanting to come back. But love can be a tricky emotion, and games were what my mind was playing on me. No doubt the dream was beautiful but what I probably was never prepared for was what if all this ceased to exist one day. What if I woke up one day to find the shattered pieces of this dream. That is when life started to feel unjust. Things fell apart and the pang was too deep to recover from.
Sometimes, at night, when I lay in bed, all the memories start flooding back. Things could have been better, definitely. But from where I see it now, I feel helpless. Helpless because circumstances will never favor me again. There was a time when maybe some decision would have made things work my way. But the moment had passed. This helplessness makes me realize how weak one can be at times. No matter what I do, it seems all the more difficult to draw the strength to face the truth. I am still struggling to hold on when there is nothing to keep.
A broken heart. A lost love. A shattered dream. I feel the pain of these reminiscent thoughts and I cry alone...
