Skeptical about love

The other day I was having a casual lunch with my colleague, chatting about the usual work and the fast approaching weekend. Our voices were muffled by the cacophony in the cafeteria. At lunch time the silence of the place gives in and at times you have to make an effort to get your voice across the table. Our discussion soon turned to how our mutual friend had recently confirmed his relationship status as committed. He had found love in a girl from our office and was very excited about this new turn in his life. The talk continued for some time.

Then suddenly I was thrown a question by my lunch companion. She asked me why didn't I ever share such things with them. She was damn sure that there must be someone that I like, but somehow I never tell such stuff to anybody. And she seemed very curious to know how in the world could I not find someone interesting enough.

I was taken a little aback and wondered, lady why do you even want to get me started on that. Not that you don’t know the story. You guys tricked me into spilling out the beans and I went on to narrate my share of story in every possible detail. But that was like three years ago and I guess I have moved on.

My reply was more patient than impulsive. I agreed that overcoming my past relationship wasn't the easiest thing to do. Being too deeply involved, the emotional bruises have just started to show signs of healing completely. That obviously does not make me invulnerable. Also it makes little sense to jump at the next chance that life has to throw at me.

Probably falling in love was the best lessons life has ever taught me. Things may not have gone through the way I expected them to, but I definitely know how it feels to be in love. Honestly, I haven't felt better in recent times. All the gorgeous faces that I see around would certainly make me take that plunge again, but at some level it just doesn't click.

Love is something that I may not understand completely. There was a time when I was a non-believer thinking that something like love does not exist. Then unwillingly, unknowingly I fell in love. I was all game to make impulsive decisions, make a complete fool of myself, risk being called crazy, do anything that could win me her heart. Now the spontaneity and the excitement eludes me, taking me back to the place where I wish love never exist to cause me the pain. Some may call me rigid, some cold hearted. But I am skeptical. If dreams can be shattered once, so can they be crushed second time around. And though the first debacle earned me some nuggets of wisdom, I am certainly not a master at matters of heart.

Free advice from other self-proclaimed love gurus is going to take me nowhere. I'd rather be on my own. If it is this skepticism that is making me rigid, devoid of emotions then maybe the antidote is a sweet potion of love, given just as unexpectedly as before.

Make a Sacrifice

Recently I saw this commercial on television, which shows a school kid walking over a bridge on a small lake and is suddenly prompted to make a plunge in the water. Wouldn't that be great fun!? But he is compelled not to, by his parents. The boy grows up, is married and has an executive job. But somewhere down the line, he wants to quit and do what he feels is right. But then he thinks about his wife and the child they were expecting soon. Despite his urge to quit, he holds on to the job. He soon prospers and now wants to buy an expensive new car. But then he sees his children and their education needs, which he must meet. Off goes the desire to buy a swanky new vehicle. He had been making a sacrifice at every stage of his life. A compromise with his desires, for different compelling reasons. Years later when he is retired, he makes a walk to the same bridge. He remembers his childhood wish and decides for once to follow his heart. He takes that plunge and realizes his wish. He couldn't have been more happier than on that day.

This ad made me thinking. I agree that one should follow his heart and do what makes you happy, but I can’t help notice the sacrifices that man made at every stage of his life.

Sacrifice may not always be a compulsion. Today, someone living a single life with least worries at hand does not have to sacrifice his desires. For him life has no compromises and he wants to make things go his way. But life brings with it new responsibilities at every passing stage. Soon he would have a wife to care for and kids to look after. He would then have to strive to provide them with best of everything. The struggle to make them happy, lands him in situations where a compromise at some level becomes a must. He may have to forfeit a personal desire for sake of his family. Rewards reaped by such sacrifice maybe be far more than pursuing his personal wantings. Of course no compromise should be too large. One doesn't want a regrettable life!

If essential sacrifice is so important to an individual, then he must surely realize that same sacrifices have been made by his parents for his upbringing. If you never had hardships growing up, got what you always wanted, have good education and lead a successful life, chances are that a great deal of sacrifice has gone into that making. It is time to repay in kind. Be a part of your parents' lives just as you have been all your life. Make some sacrifices of your own to make sure they are loved. Care for them. They don't need your cash. But your love is something they cannot buy. They might not expect much in return, but that does not free you of the debt you owe them.

Life will come full circle when sacrifices you make reap a garden with caring gardeners, who will nurture both old and new plants with unending love.

Don't be selfish. Make a sacrifice. It’s essential.