It was the most anticipated day in recent times. For almost a year I worked without giving much attention to how much I take home. What I took home was enough to buy me food, pay my bills, buy me another pair of jeans, occasionally spoil myself at some good restaurant or go bowling with friends. But things were about to change. My paycheck was about to put on a little weight. And with the anticipation, anxiety and nervousness were on the rise.
To make things better, I had a windfall. I certainly did not see a promotion coming my way. I mean, I badly wanted it. But with all the diplomatic talk I had with my seniors, likeliness of a change in my job title was slim. I wasn't thinking much about it but a fatter paycheck was certainly on my mind. I said to myself, if I reach a certain figure, I might consider buying a car. The prospect of owning my very first car made me feel great. It was an elated feeling and I couldn't wait for the dream to come true.
And so the moment drew on. Soon the word went around that new pay scales were out and employees could check their online accounts. With great expectations, I logged on. Only to frown and log off immediately. Seems the new car would still be a distant dream. I fared low on my own expectations. Being appraised at an average scale did not amuse me. I had put in more efforts than the year before. I was certainly discontent. A few quick calculations of how much more could I be taking home did nothing to cheer me. Gloom was the color of the day. I did not feel like working for rest of the day. That's what happens when expectations are not met.
I left office in the same mood. Man it sucked! Sucked to know that things were just average at work. Sucked that all the hard work and promotion did not bear much monetary fruit. I needed something to cheer me. And I knew just the thing to do.
As I steered my way through the city traffic, riding my bike, I took a long detour on my way home. I rode through the outer perimeter of the city, watching the sun go down and disappear. Watched the green pastures of land with patches of concrete houses cropping in between. Rode by a serene lake. Someone was there still hoping to catch fish along the banks. The entire trip back home was soothing and truly therapeutic in a way. Just an hour ago, I was discontent, displeased and disappointed deep down. And here I was, experiences something totally different. The sinking feeling I had all afternoon had ebbed away.
By the time I reached home, I was in a jolly good mood. I had my favorite food for dinner and then celebrated my pay rise and promotion with some hot chocolate and ice cream. Cherry on top. The momentary agony of not meeting my own expectations had eluded me now.
The next day, I smiled and started for work. A new day with new possibilities, new challenges and of course a new dream. A bigger better car. Maybe next year.
